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Tuesday, July 5, 2011

JUST IN BREAKING NEWS: Kobe Bryant Sued by Prostitute Over Broken Marriage Promise

It hasn’t been a pleasant week for Lakers star Kobe Bryant. After news broke that he underwent an experimental treatment on his right knee, he now finds himself at the center of a lawsuit.
This time around, a woman (and alleged prostitute) by the name of Selina Miller is making some, well… rather outrageous claims against Bryant. In a recent phone interview, Miller is on record saying that Bryant asked for her hand in marriage, promised her a ring and even completed a signed agreement binding him to those two things.

No, I’m serious. We didn’t fabricate this entire story because we couldn’t figure out what to write about during the lockout. This is really happening…

According to the story first published by the O.C. Register, she continued on and said:
“I’m upset because he promised me a ring, and then some other people influenced him, and I didn’t get it.”
Given the lunacy of these charges, it should come as no surprise that Miller is also accusing Mr. Bryant of regularly stopping by her house for “intimate relations”, something she states that he does with “multiple other women”.

If the name Selina Miller sounds familiar, it’s because this isn’t the first time she’s tried to sue Bryant. In 2009, she brought an equally asinine defamation suit against Kobe and the NBA which was promptly dismissed as “frivolous”.

I would have to imagine that it’s only a matter of time before Orange County Judge Steven L. Perk, who has been assigned to this case, echoes that very same sentiment.

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